5 Pick-Me-Ups After a Breakup
Life is supposed to feel a little gray during these stages right?
This weekend, I texted my friend Gemma … “Life is supposed to feel a little gray during these stages right?” I asked. I was sad about my recent breakup; the dark winter felt endless; and things I usually enjoyed — seeing a movie, taking a long walk, daydreaming about travel — felt blah and uninteresting. Was I depressed or just…human? “Yes, you’re supposed to feel gray,” she texted back. “The feelings will move through you, and sparkly feelings will then replace them. Buy yourself some deli flowers today (in person, it makes a difference) and a new shower gel that smells amazing (again, in person). Next time I see you I will hug you so hard you will wonder at my brute strength.”
The Power of a Low-Stakes Mission
Gemma always knows best, so I went outside, crunched through the snow, and picked out pink flowers (pictured above) from the bodega. They have since bloomed beautifully and look very cheerful on the kitchen counter. Having a low-stakes mission out in the world felt bolstering. I wasn’t trying to tackle anything monumental, just a simple task that required me to get outside and engage with the world. This small accomplishment gave me a sense of purpose and helped shift my focus away from the breakup.
The Benefits of Fresh Air and Smiling at Strangers
After picking out flowers, Anton and I headed out to find a luxurious body wash. This one was the obvious winner — it smells sooooooo good. And Gemma was right, having a low-stakes mission out in the world, getting fresh air, and smiling at strangers felt bolstering. Smiling at strangers might seem like a small thing, but it can have a big impact on your mood. When you smile at someone, it releases endorphins and can help shift your focus away from negative thoughts.
The Joy of Speed Stacking Cups
We then returned home to play with speed stacking cups, which we discovered at the Guinness World Records Museum a few years ago. We have become extremely fast cup stackers, ngl, and the best part is, when you’re carefully building little blue towers, you don’t have time to think about missing someone. The physical activity and mental focus required to speed stack cups can be a great distraction from negative thoughts and emotions.
The Power of Self-Care
That night, my friend Mo brought over cool stickers to make vision boards. I also dove into this gripping novel which follows the relationship between a female robot and her human owner. It explores themes of intimacy, power, sex, and autonomy, and I keep staying up until midnight reading it. Finally, I once read that when you break up with a romantic partner, you often miss the physical touch, along with the actual person. My friend offered to rub my shoulders the other day while watching TV, and now I’m going to remember to offer a shoulder rub to friends going through something in the future — it’s such a gift!
The Importance of Physical Touch
I saw this lip balm at a store, and it made me laugh. It was a silly reminder that even in the midst of sadness, there is still beauty and humor to be found. And it’s hard to be sad when you have a friend like Gemma who knows exactly what to say to make you feel better. Overall, it’s hard to be sad — I wish I could skip it — but I know you have to run through the storm.
5 More Pick-Me-Ups After a Breakup
- Get moving: Engage in physical activity that you enjoy, whether it’s going for a walk, running, or practicing yoga. Exercise can help reduce stress and anxiety and improve your mood.
- Practice self-care: Take care of your physical and emotional needs. Get enough sleep, eat healthy foods, and engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation.
- Reach out to friends and family: Talk to people you trust and who care about you. They can offer support, advice, and a listening ear.
- Try something new: Engage in a new hobby or activity that you’ve been wanting to try. This can help distract you from negative thoughts and emotions and give you a sense of purpose.
- Practice gratitude: Focus on the things you are grateful for, rather than dwelling on the negative. Write down three things you are thankful for each day to help shift your focus.
P.S. Four things to say to a friend after a breakup, and five more pick-me-ups.
I hope this article provides some helpful and original pick-me-ups for those going through a breakup. Remember, it’s okay to feel gray, but with time and support, you can move from gray to sparkly and find your way back to happiness.
