The Secret of Teaching a Child to Live Gratefully
One of my favorite Thanksgiving traditions since having children is going around the table before the big meal, each sharing three things we’re grateful for. It’s eye-opening and heartwarming as a parent to hear the kids vocalize the things that mean the most to them in the world. Every year, the month of November brings a flurry of awareness around the importance of gratitude, catching the eyes of parents everywhere setting out to raise grateful children amidst the entitled world we seem to live in today. Beyond wanting to avoid raising a greedy child, much of the amazing research conducted on the power of gratitude on lifelong well-being, happiness, health, and relationships has now made its way into the mainstream media.
Teaching Your Child to Live Gratefully
Teaching your child to live gratefully If you want to instill long-term lasting gratitude in your child you’re going to need to go beyond an isolated practice or two during the holidays. The key to helping your child make any long-term change lies in their patterns of everyday thinking. After all, emotions and actions are a natural outflow of our thoughts, so it makes sense we’d start there.
The Science Behind Gratitude
Did you know that gratitude has the power to increase happiness and decrease stress by actually changing our brains? The pre-frontal cortex, also known as the rational ‘thinking brain’, helps us regulate our emotions and make rational decisions. However, when we’re overwhelmed or struggling, our amygdala takes over, triggering a natural response to fear, anxiety, or stress. Gratitude can help calm down the amygdala and engage the pre-frontal cortex, leading to a sense of calm, happiness, and peace.
The Secret to Helping Your Child Internalize a Sense of Gratitude
During the holidays, gratitude seems to be a natural outflow of beloved traditions, anticipated outings, good food, and our loved ones. We find ourselves naturally reflecting on all we have and can actually feel the sense of calm, happiness, and peace this reflective gratitude brings. But what about the rest of the year? What about the rest of life’s moments that aren’t adorned in glitter, wrapping paper, and bows?
Cultivating Gratitude in Daily Moments
Believe it or not, it is possible to cultivate gratitude in the daily moments where we’d least expect to find it. If you want to help your child internalize a deep sense of gratitude all year round, the secret lies in helping them seek gratitude not only in the highs of daily life but also in the moments that look a lot like lows. What does this mean? It means teaching and modeling living mindfully during challenging times and helping your child begin to trust that in life, many of our most challenging moments end up being the most powerful.
A 3-Step Approach to Building Gratitude and Resilience
Of course, this doesn’t mean the next time your child falls off their bike you run over, tell them to get over it adding “what doesn’t kill you will make you stronger!”. This doesn’t mean pushing toxic positivity on them or invalidating their emotions during struggles and hardships. It does mean that there are three very powerful things you can do to support your child when overwhelmed or struggling that will help them lean into gratitude as part of their everyday mindset.
1. Validate Their Emotions and Experience
This part absolutely has to come first. When your child is hurt, anxious, or angry, they are functioning from their emotional brain (amygdala) and won’t be able to listen to feedback or guidance yet . The most therapeutic thing in the world is feeling seen and heard by another human. Offer your child empathy as you try to see the situation from their perspective.
2. Wait for Them to Come Around
Each child is different, and it takes each child differently to calm down and reach emotional regulation again. Be patient and let your child process their emotions in their own way. When they’re ready, they’ll begin to see things from a different perspective.
3. Help Them Seek Gratitude in the Moment
This is where teaching and modeling living mindfully during challenging times comes in. Help your child begin to trust that in life, many of our most challenging moments end up being the most powerful. Open up a conversation about how it’s possible to make the most out of challenging situations, by changing how we think about them (kind of like a mindset superpower!).
The Payoffs of Teaching Gratitude to Children
Teaching your child to live gratefully has numerous payoffs, including:
- Increased happiness and well-being
- Improved relationships
- Better coping mechanisms during challenging times
- A more optimistic outlook on life
- A deeper sense of empathy and compassion for others
By following the 3-step approach outlined above, you can help your child develop a deep sense of gratitude that will last a lifetime. So, what are you waiting for? Start teaching your child to live gratefully today!
In Conclusion
Teaching your child to live gratefully is a valuable investment in their emotional well-being and happiness. It’s not just about avoiding raising a greedy child, but about helping them develop a mindset that will serve them well throughout their lives. By following the 3-step approach outlined above, you can help your child cultivate gratitude in even the most challenging moments. So, start teaching your child to live gratefully today and watch them grow into a confident, compassionate, and grateful individual.
