Creating a Home That Works: Lessons Learned Living With Kids (And a Photographer’s Eye)
The image of a perfectly curated home, filled with minimalist decor and an effortless sense of style, is a common one – especially online. But behind the Instagram filters and carefully staged shots lies a very real, very messy, and wonderfully chaotic reality: living with kids. As a photographer, I’ve spent years honing my eye for detail, arranging spaces to create a specific mood, and ultimately, making a room feel comfortable for both adults and children. Yet, my own home, the backdrop for countless photoshoots, is far from picture-perfect. It’s filled with the evidence of daily life – discarded toys, half-finished projects, and the occasional rogue skateboard part. It’s a space that’s constantly evolving, and honestly, that’s precisely how I like it. My goal isn’t to create a showroom; it’s to build a home that feels genuinely lived-in, a sanctuary where my family can thrive. This isn’t about achieving an unattainable ideal; it’s about embracing the beautiful imperfection of family life.
Living with kids fundamentally shifts your approach to design and organization. It’s a constant negotiation between functionality, aesthetics, and the inevitable needs of growing bodies and boundless energy. I’ve learned a few hard-won lessons along the way, and I want to share them with you – not as rigid rules, but as observations from someone who’s been there, done that, and collected a healthy pile of laundry in the process. Let’s delve into how to create a home that’s both beautiful and genuinely livable, even when your kids are actively dismantling your carefully arranged bookshelves.
1. Embrace the ‘Controlled Chaos’ Philosophy
The first, and perhaps most important, shift in mindset is accepting that a truly organized home with kids is a myth. Trying to maintain a perfectly pristine environment will only lead to frustration and burnout. Instead, adopt a “controlled chaos” philosophy. This doesn’t mean letting everything go wild – it means establishing clear zones for different activities and accepting that some level of mess is inevitable. Think of it like a well-designed stage set: you create the framework, but you allow for some improvisation. My designer sister, Sharon Taylor, can stage anything, and I have learned a lot from her, but even she knows that a home should feel like a home, not a museum.
Start by designating specific areas for play, homework, and storage. A dedicated playroom, even a small one, can be a lifesaver. Clearly labeled bins and baskets help contain toys and supplies. We’ve invested in a system of open shelving in the living room – it’s visually appealing and provides easy access to books and games, but it’s not a dumping ground for everything. It’s a curated collection of items we actually use. Don’t feel the need to hide everything away; a little bit of visibility can actually streamline things. For example, our kids have a designated spot for their backpacks and shoes near the front door – a simple routine that prevents clutter from accumulating.
2. Prioritize Practicality Over Perfection
As a photographer, I’m naturally drawn to beautiful textures, interesting patterns, and visually appealing arrangements. However, when it comes to family living, practicality reigns supreme. Choose furniture that’s durable, easy to clean, and comfortable. Invest in stain-resistant fabrics and consider slipcovers for upholstery. Think about how your furniture will withstand the rigors of daily life – sticky fingers, spilled juice, and the occasional crayon masterpiece. We opted for a sectional sofa with deep cushions – it’s perfect for lounging with the kids, and it’s relatively easy to clean. It’s a far cry from the pristine, formal sofas I sometimes see in magazines.
Don’t be afraid to incorporate functional elements into your decor. A large, sturdy ottoman can serve as a footrest, a coffee table, and a place for kids to build forts. Shelving units can provide storage and display space. And a well-placed rug can define a play area and add warmth to a room. The goal is to create a space that’s both beautiful and useful, not just aesthetically pleasing.
3. The Power of Zones: Creating Flow and Function
Thinking in terms of zones rather than rooms can be incredibly helpful when living with kids. A zone is a dedicated area within a space that serves a specific purpose. Instead of trying to force a single room to accommodate everything, create distinct zones for different activities. For example, our living room has a reading zone, a play zone, and a conversation zone. The reading zone features a comfy armchair and a bookshelf, the play zone has a rug and a collection of toys, and the conversation zone is centered around our sofa. This zoning helps to create flow and prevent the space from feeling cluttered and overwhelming.
Consider the natural flow of traffic within your home. Make sure there are clear pathways between zones and that furniture doesn’t obstruct movement. Children, especially, need space to move around freely. Avoid creating bottlenecks or obstacles that could lead to accidents. We’ve learned to prioritize open space and create clear lines of sight, allowing everyone to move through the house comfortably.
4. Strategic Storage: Hiding the Evidence (and Keeping it Organized)
Let’s be honest, kids accumulate stuff. A lot of it. Strategic storage is crucial for maintaining a sense of order and preventing your home from descending into chaos. Invest in storage solutions that are both functional and attractive. Baskets, bins, and drawers are your best friends. Label everything clearly so that everyone knows where things belong. And don’t be afraid to use vertical space – shelves and wall-mounted organizers can make a huge difference.
We have a built-in storage unit under the stairs that’s become a treasure trove of toys, games, and craft supplies. It’s a hidden sanctuary where the kids can stash their belongings without disrupting the rest of the house. Regularly declutter and donate items that your children have outgrown or no longer use. This will help to prevent the accumulation of unnecessary clutter.
5. The Art of the ‘Quick Reset’
Even with the best planning and organization, there will be times when your home feels like a disaster zone. The key is to develop a system for quick resets – small, manageable actions that can restore order in a matter of minutes. This might involve tidying up toys, wiping down surfaces, or straightening up the living room. Don’t get bogged down in deep cleaning – focus on the most visible areas and the things that are causing the most stress.
I’ve found that a 15-minute reset before bedtime can make a huge difference. It’s a chance to clear the decks and create a calm and peaceful environment for the whole family. Involve your children in the cleanup process – even young children can help to put away toys. This teaches them responsibility and instills good habits.
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6. Don’t Fight the Kid Factor – Embrace the Imperfection
Perhaps the most important lesson I’ve learned is to embrace the kid factor. Your home will never be as perfectly curated as it is in a magazine photo. There will be spills, messes, and chaos – and that’s okay. Kids are messy, and they’re going to make a mess. Don’t try to fight it – accept it and move on. Focus on creating a space where your family feels comfortable, loved, and happy. A few scattered toys or a slightly wrinkled sofa are small prices to pay for the joy and laughter that kids bring to your home.
I remember the photoshoot we did for the TIME magazine cover. We had a ten-foot roll of white paper draped from the ceiling, a school desk, and a stock of 1,000 one dollar bills. At one point I had the kids throwing up the bills in the air. They loved that! And then to pay them for their time and efforts, I told the kids when we were done that they could keep a few. They paused and looked at me in wide-eyed disbelief…and then went into a high-speed pocket-stuffing frenzy. It was chaotic, messy, and utterly delightful. It perfectly captured the essence of our family – imperfect, energetic, and full of love.
My home is the backdrop for many photo shoots. Probably the shoot that stands out most is the shoot we did for the TIME magazine cover in our dining room. The story was about how paying kids to make good grades really works. But it’s also a space where we gather, laugh, and create memories. It’s a place where my children feel safe, loved, and supported. And that’s what truly matters.
7. Little Details, Big Impact
It’s the little details that can really elevate a space and make it feel more inviting. Adding personal touches, like family photos, artwork, and handmade crafts, can create a sense of warmth and connection. I always feel it’s important to have things that tell a story – keepsakes from trips, drawings from my children, or even just a favorite mug. These small reminders of happy memories add character and personality to a room. I have a collection of old postcards from our travels – they add a touch of nostalgia and remind me of all the adventures we’ve had.
Lighting plays a crucial role in creating a mood. Layered lighting – combining overhead lights, lamps, and accent lighting – can transform a space and make it feel more inviting. I love using natural light whenever possible. Opening the curtains and letting the sunshine in can instantly brighten up a room and create a more cheerful atmosphere. We’ve also invested in some dimmer switches, which allow us to adjust the lighting to suit different moods and activities.
Finally, don’t underestimate the power of plants. Adding greenery to your home can instantly freshen up a space and create a sense of tranquility. Plants also help to purify the air and improve indoor air quality. We have a few potted plants scattered throughout our living room and dining room – they add a touch of life and color to the space.
Living with kids is a constant learning process. It’s about adapting, improvising, and finding ways to create a home that works for your family. It’s not about achieving perfection; it’s about embracing the beautiful chaos and creating a space where everyone feels loved, comfortable, and happy. And, as a photographer, I’ve realized that the most beautiful images are often the ones that capture the unscripted moments – the laughter, the spills, and the messy, wonderful reality of family life.
