Parenthood is perhaps one of the hardest roles we will have in our lives. Maybe it is because while our child is growing, we are growing too—all of those transitions and changes mean a lot of reflection and adaptation. Often, when parenting is really hard, it is because we are so immersed in it—the dishes, the laundry, the big unregulated emotions from our children whose brains are still growing—that it is near impossible to take a broader view.
Yet, it is that exact ability—to take a broader view—to shift your perspective—that makes all the difference in how we experience parenting and how we react or consciously respond.
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Instead of questioning the way we handle things (and feeling guilty), what if we looked at those moments as our children showing us where we need to grow—raising us up. What a gift that would be.
Ashley Soderlund, Ph.D.
What if we looked at those moments when we feel challenged by our kids as opportunities to grow? Research shows that there are increases in gray matter volume in the prefrontal cortex, parietal lobes, and midbrain areas in mothers postpartum. This newly developed “parental” brain is thought to help us respond to infant cues. When we become a parent, our brains change. When our child is born, we are born as parents. This is a new role, and newly developed parts of our brain come with it. And we must be gentle with ourselves. We are not born knowing everything we know to be good parents. We are learning and growing right alongside our kids.
Read more about brain changes after having a child here.
50 Inspiring Quotes for Those Really Hard Parenting Moments
Quotes About Growth and Learning Together
- “As your kids grow, they may forget what you said, but won’t forget how you made them feel.” — Kevin Heath
- “Children can face all sorts of difficulties and challenges if they can come back to the well of our unconditional love.” — Mary and Jon Kabat-Zinn
- “At the end of the day, the most overwhelming key to a child’s success is the positive involvement of the parents.” — Jane D. Hall
- “The point of parenting is not to have all of the answers before we start out but instead to figure it out on the go as our children grow. Because as they do, so will we.” — Bridgett Miller
- “There is no such thing as a perfect parent so just be a real one.” — Sue Atkins
- “Our kids don’t need us to be perfect Pinterest parents—they just need us as we are. It’s really as simple as that.” — Unknown
- “The moment we realize that how we react to our kids’ behavior has more to do with how we’re feeling than what our kids are doing is the moment we understand that our main job as parents must be to keep ourselves emotionally healthy.” — Unknown
Quotes About Being a “Real” Parent
- “Parenting shouldn’t feel like a competitive sport. It’s plenty challenging without any added obstacles. Strive to be loving and kind; have the courage to ask for help; take a break when you need it; celebrate all the great stuff; be kind to yourself, and be yourself. That’s who your kid loves anyway.” — Ariadne Brill
- “Being a parent can be tough, but remember in your child’s eye nobody does it better than you.” — Unknown
- “What if we realized that we don’t need to be an all-singing, all-dancing super parent to be a good parent? By placing less pressure on ourselves and our little ones, and giving them the space to blossom, we can all find greater balance.” — Niki Brantmark
- “There’s no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one.” — Jill Churchill
- “You don’t have to be perfect. We’re all going to mess up at times. We’re all going to be fearful, we’re going to be grumpy. Just repair and move on.” — Tina Payne Bryson, Ph.D.
Quotes About Emotional Health and Repair
- “As parents, we are bound to lose our cool with our kids at some point. When we lose our temper, it often has more to do with us than with them—our triggers, inner voice, and emotional baggage.” — Unknown
- “The most important thing parents can do, beyond keeping kids healthy and safe, is to read with them. That means starting when they are newborns and not even able to talk, and continuing well beyond the years that they can read by themselves.” — Pamela Druckerman
- “Children need at least one person in their life who thinks the sun rises and sets on them, someone who delights in their existence and loves them unconditionally.” — Pam Leo
- “Behind every young child who believes in himself is a parent who believed first.” — Matthew L. Jacobson
- “Your children will become what you are; so be what you want them to be.” — David Bly
Quotes About Presence and Consistency
- “Our consistent presence in their lives, the ability to say sorry when we mess up, and to simply be there—that’s what matters most.” — Unknown
- “The best kind of parent you can be is to lead by example.” — Drew Barrymore
- “It’s not only children who grow. Parents do too. As much as we watch to see what our children do with their lives, they are watching us to see what we do with ours.” — Joyce Maynard
- “The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice.” — Peggy O’Mara
- “Children don’t need more things. The best toys a child can have is a parent who gets down on the floor and plays with them.” — Bruce Perry
Quotes About Self-Compassion
- “Be kind to yourself as a parent. You’re doing the best you can with what you have in this moment. And that’s always enough.” — Unknown
- “Parenting is not about perfection. It’s about connection.” — L.R. Knost
- “You are not managing an inconvenience; you are raising a human being.” — Kittie Franz
- “The most powerful way to change the world is to live in front of our children the way we would like the world to be.” — Graham R. White
- “Children are not a distraction from more important work. They are the most important work.” — C.S. Lewis
Quotes About Learning Through Mistakes
- “Parenting mistakes can be opportunities for children to build mental strength.” — Amy Morin
- “Every day our children spread their dreams beneath our feet. We should tread softly.” — Sir Ken Robinson
- “The sign of great parenting is not the child’s behavior. The sign of truly great parenting is the parent’s behavior.” — Andy Smithson
- “Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.” — James Baldwin
- “It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken adults.” — Frederick Douglass
Quotes About Unconditional Love
- “Love is giving your kids your undivided attention and time.” — Kevin Heath
- “Your children need your presence more than your presents.” — Jesse Jackson
- “The way we treat our children directly impacts what they believe about themselves.” — Ariadne Brill
- “To be in your children’s memories tomorrow, you have to be in their lives today.” — Barbara Johnson
- “The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.” — Theodore Hesburgh
Quotes About Perspective and Growth
- “Children are educated by what the grown-up is and not by his talk.” — Carl Jung
- “While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about.” — Angela Schwindt
- “The best inheritance a parent can give his children is a few minutes of his time each day.” — O. A. Battista
- “Don’t worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you.” — Robert Fulghum
- “Your children will see what you’re all about by what you live rather than what you say.” — Wayne Dyer
Quotes About the Journey
- “Parenthood… It’s about guiding the next generation, and forgiving the last.” — Peter Krause
- “The gain is not the having of children; it is the discovery of love and how to be loving.” — Polly Berends
- “There is no single effort more radical in its potential for saving the world than a transformation of the way we raise our children.” — Marianne Williamson
- “The most important thing that parents can teach their children is how to get along without them.” — Frank A. Clark
- “Having children is like living in a frat house—nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.” — Ray Romano
- “The trouble with learning to parent on the job is that your child is the teacher.” — Robert Brault
- “Raising children is a creative endeavor, an art rather than a science.” — Bruno Bettelheim
- “The thing about parenting rules is there aren’t any. That’s what makes it so difficult.” — Ewan McGregor
Final Thoughts
Parenthood is perhaps one of the hardest roles we will have in our lives. Maybe it is because while our child is growing, we are growing too—all of those transitions and changes mean a lot of reflection and adaptation. Often, when parenting is really hard, it is because we are so immersed in it—the dishes, the laundry, the big unregulated emotions from our children whose brains are still growing—that it is near impossible to take a broader view.
Yet, it is that exact ability—to take a broader view—to shift your perspective—that makes all the difference in how we experience parenting and how we react or consciously respond.
Instead of questioning the way we handle things (and feeling guilty), what if we looked at those moments as our children showing us where we need to grow—raising us up. What a gift that would be.
What if we looked at those moments when we feel challenged by our kids as opportunities to grow? Research shows that there are increases in gray matter volume in the prefrontal cortex, parietal lobes, and midbrain areas in mothers postpartum. This newly developed “parental” brain is thought to help us respond to infant cues. When we become a parent, our brains change. When our child is born, we are born as parents. This is a new role, and newly developed parts of our brain come with it. And we must be gentle with ourselves. We are not born knowing everything we know to be good parents. We are learning and growing right alongside our kids.
Read more about brain changes after having a child here.
Here are a few more quotes about this crazy role of parent!
As your kids grow, they may forget what you said, but won’t forget how you made them feel.
Kevin Heath
Children can face all sorts of difficulties and challenges if they can come back to the well of our unconditional love.
Mary and Jon Kabat-Zinn
At the end of the day, the most overwhelming key to a child’s success is the positive involvement of the parents.
Jane D. Hall
The point of parenting is not to have all of the answers before we start out but instead to figure it out on the go as our children grow. Because as they do, so will we.
Bridgett Miller
There is no such thing as a perfect parent so just be a real one.
Sue Atkins
Our kids don’t need us to be perfect Pinterest parents—they just need us as we are. It’s really as simple as that. Our consistent presence in their lives, the ability to say sorry when we mess up, and to simply be there.
Here are some more quotes about being a “real” parent:
Parenting shouldn’t feel like a competitive sport. It’s plenty challenging without any added obstacles. Strive to be loving and kind; have the courage to ask for help; take a break when you need it; celebrate all the great stuff; be kind to yourself, and be yourself. That’s who your kid loves anyway.
Ariadne Brill
Being a parent can be tough, but remember in your child’s eye nobody does it better than you.
Unknown
What if we realized that we don’t need to be an all-singing, all-dancing super parent to be a good parent? By placing less pressure on ourselves and our little ones, and giving them the space to blossom, we can all find greater balance.
Niki Brantmark
There’s no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one.
Jill Churchill
You don’t have to be perfect. We’re all going to mess up at times. We’re all going to be fearful, we’re going to be grumpy. Just repair and move on.
Tina Payne Bryson, Ph.D.
As parents, we are bound to lose our cool with our kids at some point. When we lose our temper, it often has more to do with us than with them—our triggers, inner voice, and emotional baggage. Research on attachment and interpersonal relationships shows that it isn’t about losing your temper that defines a relationship, but how we repair after.
Read more about the steps to take when you lose your temper…
Your child will learn the value of restoration by watching you repair your relationship with them.
