If you’re overwhelmed with an ADHD child you’re not alone. These foolproof steps from a child therapist (and mom of a kid with ADHD) will move you forward with clarity and confidence. ADHD in kids can be emotionally and mentally taxing for caregivers, but following these 5 tips will help you maintain a sense of perspective and keep both you and your ADHD happier. Can I be honest? Some days I wonder what my life would be like if I wasn’t raising a child with ADHD. I wonder if I’d have extra patience from not using every. last. drop. on emotional meltdowns and explosions. I wonder if I’d actually be able to keep my house together from less impulsivity driven sneaking of ice cream and the leaving behind of sticky smelly messes everywhere. I wonder if I’d be ‘fun mom’ more often not having to provide strict routine and predictability all the time. Typically, this pondering occurs on the days I’m overwhelmed with my ADHD child and the role of raising an outside the box kid feels heavy. On these days it seems like other parents just have it easier and that the vision of what I thought family life would look like has been snatched right out of my hands. I’m thankful that seven years down the road, these days occur much less often. Time helps. Time is full of hope and possibility. Time makes room for growth. On the days you feel yourself lost in the stormy waters of overwhelm and exhaustion, keeping the following ideas in mind will help you stay anchored to what really counts, the well-being of both you and your child.
5 Steps to Manage Overwhelm When Raising an ADHD Child
Step 1: Pause and Let It Be
Give yourself permission to press the pause button when your about to lose it. In most instances with your child, it’s not truly an emergency and both you and your child will benefit from putting the breaks on, and then following up when your ready with a more supportive and effective response. When the world is spinning around you, pause and look within yourself taking note of your emotions and bodily sensations. What emotions are under the mask of anger and frustration? Are you frustrated and resentful that your child makes the same mistakes over and over? Terrified your child will never learn to clean up after themselves? Whatever you are feeling is OK. Accepting your feelings just as they are when overwhelmed with an ADHD child is step one. Emotions are temporary and when we honor them and work through them we allow them to pass. You are not a bad parent for having thoughts and emotions about your child’s challenges. Being mindful of these thoughts and emotions and not reacting out of frustration and criticism will allow you to show up as the best parent for your child and keep your relationship intact.
Step 2: Be Kind to Yourself
You weren’t planning on navigating a special needs journey when you set out to be a parent. Coming to terms with the unique challenges brought by ADHD in kids takes time, patience and self-compassion. Parenting a child with ADHD causes great parents to be really hard on themselves. When you give into the false notion that you’re responsible for your child’s ADHD behaviors it gives the impression that very real symptoms of a neurological condition are actually the result of poor parenting. When these negative thought patterns creep in, call them out for what they are and squash them with a good dose of truthful and realistic thinking. “I’m doing the best that I can today and so is my child”, “It’s my job to recognize what ADHD symptoms in children are and to place my child’s behaviors in proper context, not the job of extended family or onlookers at the park.” Find what works for you to work through these complicated emotions such as talking to another special needs parent, journaling, prayer, etc.
Step 3: See Your Child Through Their Behaviors
Knowing how to help a child with ADHD decrease negative behaviors is a crucial part of managing your own overwhelm. Focusing on your child’s positive qualities will help when overwhelmed with ADHD behaviors. Acknowledge and celebrate their strengths and accomplishments, even the small ones. This will help shift your focus from their challenges to their capabilities. When your child succeeds, no matter how small the victory, take note of it and celebrate it. This can be as simple as saying, “I love how you worked so hard to finish your puzzle!” or “You did a great job sharing your toy with your friend!” By focusing on the positive, you can help your child develop a more positive self-image and increase their confidence.
Step 4: Create a Support System
Raising a child with ADHD can be isolating, but it doesn’t have to be. Seek out other parents who are going through similar experiences and connect with them. Join a support group, attend a parent-teacher organization meeting, or participate in an online community. Talking to others who understand the challenges of parenting a child with ADHD can be a huge relief. You can share your experiences, ask for advice, and learn from others. Having a support system can help you feel less alone and more empowered to manage your child’s behavior.
Step 5: Practice Self-Care
Taking care of yourself is essential when raising a child with ADHD. It’s easy to put your own needs last, but neglecting your own well-being can lead to burnout and exhaustion. Make time for activities that nourish your mind, body, and soul. This can be as simple as taking a relaxing bath, going for a walk, or practicing yoga. Prioritize your own self-care and make it a non-negotiable part of your daily routine. By taking care of yourself, you’ll be better equipped to manage your child’s behavior and provide the support they need.
Conclusion
Raising a child with ADHD can be a challenging and overwhelming experience, but it’s not impossible. By following these 5 steps, you can maintain a sense of perspective, keep both you and your ADHD child happy, and strengthen your relationship with your child. Remember, you are not alone in this journey. There are many resources available to support you, from support groups to online communities. Don’t be afraid to ask for help and don’t give up. You got this!
Final Thoughts
I want to leave you with a final thought. As a mom of a child with ADHD, I’ve learned that managing my own emotions and behaviors is key to managing my child’s. By being kind to myself, creating a support system, practicing self-care, and seeing my child through their behaviors, I’ve been able to navigate the ups and downs of parenting a child with ADHD. I hope these tips have been helpful to you and that you’ll continue to find the strength and resilience to manage your child’s behavior and keep your relationship intact.
When you give into the false notion that you’re responsible for your child’s ADHD behaviors it gives the impression that very real symptoms of a neurological condition are actually the result of poor parenting.
