The Secret to Getting Your Teen Daughter to Talk to You is to Pretend Play
As a parent, there’s nothing quite like the experience of having your child grow up, but not grow away from you. One of the biggest surprises to me as I raise a tween daughter is how little she still feels. I see so much of her toddler self in how she regulates, how she lets me know she needs me (begging for more bedtime cuddles, following me into the kitchen), and even how she plays with her little sisters. But for all of the things you hear about tweens and teens – one of the most parroted is how they want nothing to do with you once they reach a certain age. I’m honestly not so sure that’s the case… and one mom on TikTok agrees.
Pretend Play Can Be a Powerful Tool for Connecting with Teenagers
Alyson Johnson, aka @thebusinessofgolf on social media, recently shared that she stumbled upon the “secret” of getting your teenage daughter to talk to you. Speaking straight to the camera, she tells a story of her 14-year-old getting frustrated over not having something to wear, and instead of getting onto her for it or telling her it wasn’t important — you know, all the things we can see ourselves saying when our teen is having a crash-out — she says she reverted back to how she would’ve handled it when her kid was little. Enter: pretend play.
Creating Relaxed Scenarios Can Lead to Kinder Conversations Between Parents and Teenagers
Alyson says this moment is similar to another one she was currently filming about “spa time.” She takes a “plate of tiny things” for her daughter and a glass of wine for herself, and she gives her daughter a blow-out while her daughter “spills the tea” just like in a salon. It’s basically the art of play — without your teen ever realizing it. Alyson points out that having her daughter feel cared for and pampered in this way leads to kinder, better conversations between them.
Teenagers May Still Want to Be Little with Their Parents Sometimes
In the caption, she even shares that this was the kind of thing she did when her kids were much smaller, just to be silly, but that the beautiful strategy of distraction still really works with big kids. It makes total sense. By creating these more relaxed and inviting scenarios, it comes off less like an interview, where you just keep hitting your kid with questions and “here’s what you should do” statements, and more like having an easy conversation about something that’s happened.
How to Use Pretend Play to Connect with Your Teenage Daughter
So, how can you use pretend play to connect with your teenage daughter? Here are a few ideas to get you started:
Spa Day
- Set up a relaxing space for your daughter, complete with candles, flowers, and a comfortable chair.
- Give her a manicure or pedicure, or even just a simple hand massage.
- As you spend time together, ask her questions and listen to her responses.
Cooking or Baking
- Plan a special meal or dessert together, and have her help with the preparation.
- Use this opportunity to chat about her day, her friends, or her interests.
- Make it a fun and interactive experience, rather than a chore.
Outdoor Games
- Plan a fun outdoor activity, such as going for a hike, playing a game of frisbee, or having a picnic.
- Use this time to connect with your daughter and build a stronger relationship.
- Make sure to listen to her and show interest in what she has to say.
Movie Night
- Plan a special movie night with your daughter, complete with popcorn, snacks, and a cozy blanket.
- Discuss the movie afterwards, and ask her for her thoughts and opinions.
- Use this opportunity to connect with her and build a stronger relationship.
The Power of Pretend Play
Pretend play is a powerful tool for connecting with your teenage daughter. By creating relaxed scenarios and using distraction as a tool, you can start meaningful conversations and build a stronger relationship with your child. So, don’t be afraid to be silly and have fun with your daughter – it just might be the key to getting her to talk to you again.
Conclusion
In conclusion, pretend play is a powerful tool for connecting with your teenage daughter. By creating relaxed scenarios and using distraction as a tool, you can start meaningful conversations and build a stronger relationship with your child. So, don’t be afraid to be silly and have fun with your daughter – it just might be the key to getting her to talk to you again.
Whether you’re a seasoned parent or just starting out, these tips can help you use pretend play to connect with your teenage daughter. So, why not give it a try? Your daughter might just surprise you with her response.
